Most of you that just read that top head line are thinking that I am talking about my Prince...Well, I *think* I have found my Prince but that is for another blog. I have found Jesus..I know, I know..Some of you I can see the confused look on your face but it's not like that. I have known Jesus for 12 years now but I am talking about his Love for ME!! It's a new love...a love that I have often found myself trying to find it in other people. It's a sacrificial love. (I have been using that word a lot to describe love, lately) Here's a little story I'm going to tell you.
I attend a young adult group on Monday nights called SOMA (which means body of Christ). We meet every Monday night at 7pm. It's about 300-400 young adults (18-30) that attend this worship night. Well, the young adult pastor there, Sammy (who by the way if your not reading his blogs I highly recommend them. GOOD STUFF!!) was talking about Bachloer and Bachlorette series. It was one of my favorite sermons he has done. When I was sitting there next to my good friend Andrea, excited that we were in a new building and we were going to get Chick-Fil A that night :), I was sitting there thinking.."Oh,great!! Here we go talking about how God made someone special for us..blah blah blah. See being Single and hearing a lot and I mean A LOT of sermons on being single and Love are pretty much repetiative. I was anxious this night though because I had a feeling that Sammy's sermon might be a little bit different. Boy was I right!! His blew every other sermon out of the water. It really hit home for me. I just remember sitting there and thinking about everything that he had said. Just letting it soak in. It sure did soak in. I remember leaving and discussing with Andrea and Craig about the sermon. When I got home I just cried because it was so close to my heart. I have linked the sermons so you can hear them yourself. They are very powerful!! I wish I could just go more in depth about this discover right now but it will have to wait for another blog entry, because I am unfortunately writing this on my lunch break. I just can't contain the joy, happieness and love that I have in my heart right now!!!
To Be Continued....
Friday, March 1, 2013
Monday, February 25, 2013
What Should I Do
Last night was a very interesting yet encouraging night. My Roommate and her fiance came home a little late. I just got done getting ready for bed and I was about to dive in to the warm sheets and just get lost in dream land. That did not happen. I heard the garage door open and them talking. I layed there a while debating if I should get up and go chit chat for a bit or just go to sleep. While I was contemplating that I felt like God was telling me to go talk to them.
Here's a bit of a back story on why I needed to go talk to them....Earlier that day I had a panic attack. It wasn't your normal one. This time I felt that I was going to meet my maker. I was having horrible chest pains and it wasn't good. I was scary and horrifying at the same time. My dad talked me down and said to just go rest for a bit and relax. I layed on the couch and did my little relaxing technique that I had done since I was little, prayed that God would just take everything that I was feeling, anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, and confused away. Within 5 mins I was out like a light. I slept for a bit and got up to get ready for youth. I really needed to talk to someone though and I knew this. I felt it. It was a crazy feeling because I am going through some things that I don't want anyone to know about. Stuff about my past that creeps up on me and I get really depress or have horrible nightmares. I have been dealing with a lot. I know it's a good thing but a hard thing at the same time.
I had watched this video and it really hit home because I know that God is working on me still
I got out of bed and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and just talk to them. It's very unusal because this past weekend I hardly saw them. I ususally see them a lot more. Kelsey went and took a shower and Rye and I went in the living room and talked. Talked about the good old days at Elmore, life, relationships and trials. Trials that I was facing. One in particular...Not going to go into to much depth on here though...not now at least...I have been battling with a change that I think (still praying though for some clarity) i need to do. The problem is I dont want to do this change. I love what I do where I'm at and who I'm with. I feel though that God is directing me else where and that scares the daylights out of me. I don't want to do this change because it means that I will have to start new and meet new people and just start over. Where I'm at, I'm comfortable. I don't like change and I don't want to get out of my comfort zone. When I was explaning everything to Ryan he reassured me that God does call me to step out of my comfort zone. That is so true. I think I know what I have to do and I really don't want to do it but I do want to serve God and if he's calling me some where else then I should make the move. Just going to pray about it for a little bit longer because I still need clarity. I don't want ot go based on feelings.
Stay tuned for what path I choose...
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
~Jeremiah 29:11-13
Here's a bit of a back story on why I needed to go talk to them....Earlier that day I had a panic attack. It wasn't your normal one. This time I felt that I was going to meet my maker. I was having horrible chest pains and it wasn't good. I was scary and horrifying at the same time. My dad talked me down and said to just go rest for a bit and relax. I layed on the couch and did my little relaxing technique that I had done since I was little, prayed that God would just take everything that I was feeling, anxious, overwhelmed, stressed, and confused away. Within 5 mins I was out like a light. I slept for a bit and got up to get ready for youth. I really needed to talk to someone though and I knew this. I felt it. It was a crazy feeling because I am going through some things that I don't want anyone to know about. Stuff about my past that creeps up on me and I get really depress or have horrible nightmares. I have been dealing with a lot. I know it's a good thing but a hard thing at the same time.
I had watched this video and it really hit home because I know that God is working on me still
I got out of bed and went into the kitchen to get a glass of water and just talk to them. It's very unusal because this past weekend I hardly saw them. I ususally see them a lot more. Kelsey went and took a shower and Rye and I went in the living room and talked. Talked about the good old days at Elmore, life, relationships and trials. Trials that I was facing. One in particular...Not going to go into to much depth on here though...not now at least...I have been battling with a change that I think (still praying though for some clarity) i need to do. The problem is I dont want to do this change. I love what I do where I'm at and who I'm with. I feel though that God is directing me else where and that scares the daylights out of me. I don't want to do this change because it means that I will have to start new and meet new people and just start over. Where I'm at, I'm comfortable. I don't like change and I don't want to get out of my comfort zone. When I was explaning everything to Ryan he reassured me that God does call me to step out of my comfort zone. That is so true. I think I know what I have to do and I really don't want to do it but I do want to serve God and if he's calling me some where else then I should make the move. Just going to pray about it for a little bit longer because I still need clarity. I don't want ot go based on feelings.
Stay tuned for what path I choose...
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.
~Jeremiah 29:11-13
Monday, February 11, 2013
Things I take seriously...FRIENDSHIP
This past weekend I got to get away from life for awhile. Away from my small town. A 4 1/2 hour up north to an isolated little area deep in the woods. I will go in depth with the 2nd part but I wanted to share or more less write down a little sneak peek into what was probably one of the greatest weekends in a long time.
My day started out like any other day. Got up early to get ready. Prayed about the day ahead of me. I knew it was going to be a much needed weekend! I actually need this weekend more than I thought. Anyways, I had a great weekend!!(Another Blog) Well, let's get back to the "time to think". I had some good conversations this weekend. Really bonded with a lot of the high schoolers and leaders. It was a perfect getaway weekend. Then I found out some information that really just broke my heart. Shattered it. Being traded by a friend is one of those pains in your heart you don't know how to take it. I'm still really confused about the whole situation but I am going to talk to the person about it. Not an easy conversation to have but, not an easy one to have. It will either turn out really bad or be one of the best conversations.
Friendship is a very important thing to me. People always tell me that I have a lot of friends. I think I do but there is a handful that I honestly think as friends. The one that you can call anytime of the day or night. Cares for you as a person and is there for you when your world is flipped upside down. Great listeners and great advice givers. I really do have some amazing people in my life. (Another Blog Idea) Like my family. I consider them my best friends. They are the people who will always be there for you and will never leave you hanging on to only memories. As you get older people that you think are your friends are really not. They may have been during that season of your life. That also doesn't mean that they should be apart of your life now. It's hard to explain this concept right now, because I feel like I am still trying to understand this. I enjoy everyone of my friendships but there are a few that I could do with out. It's hard because I love and care for these people but, the way that they treat me or bring me down, well, there's NO room for that in my life!! This doesnt mean that I don't love or care about them. Just don't have room for that in my life. Things need to change but, if they are not then I am going to have to ask them to leave. I kind of sound like a snob or a little crabby. Sorry. This is just how I feel. I learned so much this weekend and I really have some great people in my life that are positive people and don't bring me down or the drama.
Wait, for the blog about how the Spring hill retreat was one of the best retreats in a long time! Lots of bonding and memories were made this past weekend.
My day started out like any other day. Got up early to get ready. Prayed about the day ahead of me. I knew it was going to be a much needed weekend! I actually need this weekend more than I thought. Anyways, I had a great weekend!!(Another Blog) Well, let's get back to the "time to think". I had some good conversations this weekend. Really bonded with a lot of the high schoolers and leaders. It was a perfect getaway weekend. Then I found out some information that really just broke my heart. Shattered it. Being traded by a friend is one of those pains in your heart you don't know how to take it. I'm still really confused about the whole situation but I am going to talk to the person about it. Not an easy conversation to have but, not an easy one to have. It will either turn out really bad or be one of the best conversations.
Friendship is a very important thing to me. People always tell me that I have a lot of friends. I think I do but there is a handful that I honestly think as friends. The one that you can call anytime of the day or night. Cares for you as a person and is there for you when your world is flipped upside down. Great listeners and great advice givers. I really do have some amazing people in my life. (Another Blog Idea) Like my family. I consider them my best friends. They are the people who will always be there for you and will never leave you hanging on to only memories. As you get older people that you think are your friends are really not. They may have been during that season of your life. That also doesn't mean that they should be apart of your life now. It's hard to explain this concept right now, because I feel like I am still trying to understand this. I enjoy everyone of my friendships but there are a few that I could do with out. It's hard because I love and care for these people but, the way that they treat me or bring me down, well, there's NO room for that in my life!! This doesnt mean that I don't love or care about them. Just don't have room for that in my life. Things need to change but, if they are not then I am going to have to ask them to leave. I kind of sound like a snob or a little crabby. Sorry. This is just how I feel. I learned so much this weekend and I really have some great people in my life that are positive people and don't bring me down or the drama.
Wait, for the blog about how the Spring hill retreat was one of the best retreats in a long time! Lots of bonding and memories were made this past weekend.
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